REM Nightmares Persist

If you enjoy nightmares and haven’t had one in a while, take the REM. 

I only take it two days a week. 

This week, I took it Tuesday and Wednesday. 

On Tuesday when I rode it, we were forced to change trains twice. Picture the scene; throngs of uncertain people slowly moving through stations as REM workers, some equipped with bullhorns, shouted instructions at us. The trains were absolutely packed. When I asked one of the REM employees what the issue was, he told me it was a broken track and added, “It’s a **** show”. I agreed and thanked him for his help. By the time I rode the REM home, service was smoother, but the train was still overcrowded. 

On Wednesday morning when I rode the REM, the train just sat at stations for long periods of time. No explanation. Finally, as we were parked at one station, we heard an announcement that there was a slowdown due to a technical problem. Vague. The ride was extremely slow and seriously overcrowded. At each stop, when we finally got to a station, people would push their way into the already overcrowded train car. The stations themselves were packed with people when we pulled in - and just as packed with people when the train left, all of them hoping the next train might have room for them to board. As we entered the tunnel, I stood up, getting ready to push my way out at Edouard Montpetit station. At about the same time, there was an announcement that the train would not be stopping at Edouard Montpetit station. I sat back down. Got to work 30 minutes late and disgusted with the crappy REM.

It’s an embarrassment to 2026, a time when technology and basic planning usually manage to make life better for people. 

I am generally not a fan of unregulated AI, but perhaps it should have been given more responsibility for REM design and planning. 

I heard the REM was not working again yesterday. 

All this for $200 a month. 

CDPQ Infra should be held accountable. 

I hope class action lawsuits are in the works. 

It’s not like the line can be dismantled and improved. This is it. This is as good as it gets for Montreal commuters. 

Overpriced. Overcrowded. Unreliable. Uncomfortable.

I miss the train, where you sat in a comfortable seat and could actually look out the windows instead of having your back to them. On the train, which the REM unilaterally cannibalized, you could read, work, or study, while getting to your destination on time. Now you sit, if you're lucky enough to get a seat during rush hour, like a sardine wedged into a can with a bunch of other sardines on hard plastic seats.

This is the big transportation solution we've been waiting for.

It's shameful.

Quite a few people have been taking a 4:55 a.m. bus from Deux Montagnes to get to work by 6 a.m. The bus has been providing service for five years. The REM and Allo Exo have just cancelled that bus and not replaced it with anything. Train service starts much later in the morning. Why can’t they leave that one bus in place for these early commuters?

It’s blatant disregard for the people who’ve been expecting competent public transit service. 

I can hardly wait for next week.

REM Abandons Early Risers

Every weekday for the last five years, people have been lining up to take the 4:55 a.m. bus from Deux Montagnes to Montreal. They have early jobs. As of next month, the 4:55 a.m. bus is being eliminated. It would be no problem if the REM replaced the bus with a train at the same time, but there will be no such train, or bus. It has decided those early morning workers will be given no such option. The early risers in Deux Montagnes, and at every other stop down the line, are abandoned. They are being denied REM service because they work too early. They’re being denied bus service because they work too early. How can you justify removing the only service that has been in place for five years without replacing it? The REM claims it cannot implement a 4:55 a.m. train from Deux Montagnes train because it needs the overnight hours to do maintenance. Why not hire more maintenance personnel to accomplish more maintenance in a shorter period? Why not implement a 4:55 a.m. train from Deux Montagnes and then no other train until regular weekday service begins? Better still, why not leave the one early bus in place? Many of these early commuters are distraught, as their worlds are being turned upside down. These people are ignored and abandoned because they work too early?

The photo, taken in the fall, shows people lined up for the 4:55 a.m. bus from Deux Montagnes. People are lined up at that time at each of the other 14 stops between Deux Montagnes and Montreal. So far, with its frequent breakdowns, disruptions and delays, the REM has proven an embarrassment to competent public transit services around the world Be that as it may, early workers are entitled to the same shoddy service you try to provide all commuters riding the REM to and from their jobs. The Caisse de depot et du placement du Quebec is raking in commuters’ money. The website for la Caisse de depot et placement du Quebec (lacaisse.com) says, “When you take the REM, you help pay for your retirement” – now it needs the disclaimer, “but if you are a commuter who starts work in Montreal at 6 a.m., you can forget about paying for your retirement by riding the REM.”

Welcome to the Machine

I was almost impressed.

The REM’s Deux Montagnes line has been running for two months.

 

There have been delays, breakdowns and interruptions in service on the line but, because I do not ride the REM every day, most of my commutes aboard the Deux Montagnes line had been quick and efficient.

 

It’s the commuters who ride the REM every day who’ve been most inconvenienced by its unreliability; that is, until this week, when the REM’s unreliability caught up with me.

 

I suppose it was just a matter of time.

 

The morning rush hour train I had planned to take, was late. Finally, after a long wait, a train pulled into the station and the backlog of waiting people crowded aboard. No sooner had we sat down than an announcement was made telling us to evacuate the train, which promptly backed out of the station to be replaced by another, inevitably, even more crowded train.

REM overcrowding

With every stop, more and more waiting people pushed onto the train. It was a case of public transit at its worst – expensive, unreliable, and overcrowded. For all I know, we may have surpassed the safety limit for number of passengers.

At 72 metres underground, Edouard Montpetit station is billed as the deepest in Canada

I have been on the REM during snowstorms, in freezing rain and in subzero conditions and it functioned without a hitch, and then, in the same conditions, the REM falls far short, so, for commuters, service is very much hit or miss.

 

The Reseau express metropolitaine (REM) must do better.

 

REM partners have already been scolded a couple of times by the provincial transport minister for spotty service on the South Shore section.

 

Hopefully, REM partners are working out the kinks with a view to making the service brilliantly dependable.

 

Apart from its unreliability, my biggest complaint would be rush hour overcrowding.

 

The potential for major disruption remains and, with so many motors, switches, relays and doors opening and closing at so many stations, and so many trains out on the line at the same time, accelerating, cruising and braking, a massive problem seems inevitable.

 

Yes, the Montreal metro faces those same challenges, but the REM had Montreal’s outdoor weather to factor into its design plans.

 

The laws of nature stipulate that as rolling stock and infrastructure age, a major disruption becomes more probable.

 

I sincerely hope a major disruption can be avoided and, with attentive and diligent maintenance and monitoring, perhaps the unlikely is possible.

 

REM riding is not cheap, although it’s nice to see that most parking is free.

 

My inner worrywart still finds it extremely disconcerting that a machine drives it, while humans ride it.

 

In the event of an emergency, signs in the train say talk to the “operator”, but there is no operator; at best, there may be a remote monitor of the machine. Emergencies are not likely to fare well without a human REM representative aboard.

Instructions for emergencies

I was slightly consoled when, one weekday afternoon, I spotted a REM employee on the train I was riding. She told me she was a monitor, and said she rides trains eight times a day.

 

I was riding it one morning earlier this month, when the crowded rush hour train stopped at a station, no doors opened, and I heard some faceless passenger mutter a mostly mystified “ok”. Then the train moved slightly forward, and the doors opened, but it took significantly longer for the doors to close, allowing subzero outdoor air to flow into the train. Once the doors closed, the train crept very slowly from Canora into the tunnel, with some passengers exchanging curious expressions. 

 

People try to appear unconcerned, trusting that the machine driving the train will figure it out, and safely do the correct thing.

 

AI may not be driving our cars yet, but it’s driving our train.

 

All hail the algorithm.

 

The best REM commuters can hope for in the event of an emergency is that an attentive and well-trained (pun unintended) human employee is looking through one of the camera bubbles positioned around the inside of the train.

 

I have visions of riders pressing the emergency button to speak to an “operator” only to hear the robotic response, “Welcome to the machine”.

Celebrating the Celebration of Love

We celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary last week.  

I lie.  

 

It was shamefully less festive than I have just indicated.  

 

We forgot our 31st wedding anniversary last week.  

 

I took a yogurt from the refrigerator in the morning and, as I opened it at work, I checked the expiration date and realized it expired that very day.

 

Unlike others I know, we tend to honor food expiration dates, so I thought I should warn Susan the yogurt expires today. 

 

I texted my wife with a photo of the yogurt label, telling her to look at the date. 

 

She responded by texting, “Big day tomorrow, 31 years married, 37 years together.” 

 

Momentarily confused, I suddenly realized the expiry date on the yogurt label was the date of our anniversary, the day we went on our first date and the day we got married.  

 

She thought the date on the label was tomorrow’s date. 

 

I texted back saying, “It’s today. Happy anniversary! How terrible that we both forgot!” 

I tend to overthink. 

And off I go. 

 

What does it mean?  

 

I don’t believe it’s a reason to panic, but I do think it is a reason to wonder or, at the very least, ponder. 

 

What does it mean to forget we have been married for 31 years? 

 

With her Oura and Apple Watch relentlessly churning out reams of personal information – statistics, analytics and biometrics – surely Susan has enough numbers to worry about. 

 

Drat, I can’t use that excuse. 

 

Let it go?  

 

Maketh not a mountain out of a molehill? 

 

Is it a sign that we are taking things for granted? Certainly; just the way we, unfortunately, take all the good in our lives for granted. That we take the good things for granted is a glaring flaw of human nature. 

 

Does it make us any less appreciative of our relationship? No.  

 

Every day together is a great day together. Am I right? 

 

Even when we remember anniversaries, our celebrations tend toward the underwhelming. 

 

Ah, phooey, we’re both still smiling and kissing. 

 

If we’re lucky, I suppose our anniversaries may unavoidably become more noteworthy. 

 

We have never put pressure on ourselves to overdo anniversaries.  

 

We acknowledge them (when we remember them) and are sometimes even amazed by them. 

 

It's a day like any other, and a day like any other is a reason to celebrate by letting it be a day like any other. 

 

Really, does it get any better than that? 

 

 

 

 

Welcome Frankendrivers

If you’ve been reading this blog, you are well aware that I cannot stop ranting about Quebec roads and the freaking stupid drivers who inhabit them. 

Start the timer, doctor. 

I have alleged in this blog before (May 27, 2021) that SAAQ examiners are getting filthy rich by accepting cash in exchange for allowing complete morons to pass their driving tests. 

 

How are these idiots getting permits? They pay extra. 

 

There is just no other possible explanation for the number of idiots there are on the roads. 

 

It appears there may be another factor partly contributing to the rampant road retardation. 

 

It turns out when people arrive here from other countries, the Quebec government gives them six months to adjust to the rules of our roads. 

 

These foreign drivers have six months before they are required to pass the Quebec driving test. Until then, do what you do out there on the road – or, do what you don’t do – or, don’t do what you don’t do – or do what you were doing wherever you were before here.

 

If, within these six months, they fail their Quebec driver’s test, no sweat, keep right on driving with your foreign license, but be sure to make an appointment to repeat your test 28 days later. 

 

What fun for Quebecers who know how to drive properly! 

Last year, around 140, 000 new Quebecers were trying to swap driving permits from their countries of origin for Quebec permits. That’s quite a pile of motorized unpredictability. 

 

SAAQ examiners apparently prepared a report, noting newly arrived foreign drivers tend to go through stop signs, cut other cars off, stop in the middle of the road, ignore crosswalks and fail to respect speed limits.  

 

Huh. 

 

I suddenly have a sinking feeling that giving them Quebec driving permits may be doing more harm than good. 

 

I think and, correct me if I’m wrong, the Quebec driving permit may be a license to keep driving stupidly, or worse.

 

Quebecers speed. Quebecers block passing lanes. Quebecers tailgate. Quebecers run stops. Quebecers ignore crosswalks. 

 

The mantra of the Quebec driver – you know it well…

Ignition. Accelerate. Drive stupid. Repeat. 

 

The bad news? I think we’re turning drivers from other countries into government-sanctioned Frankendrivers. 

 

The good news? If ever you need to make a quick buck driving a tuk tuk around downtown Jakarta in rush hour, you’re gonna fit right in. 

 

Break Out the Bubble Wrap

Here we go again.

It’s that time of year when motorized everythings and whatevers resume precariously zooming around in places where they shouldn’t.

 

Electric scooters on sidewalks.

Oversized, motorized wheelchairs with headlights on bike paths.

Motorized skateboards in pedestrian lanes.

Hoverboards and mono-wheels on streets.

E-bikes breaking the sound barrier on all of the above surfaces.

 

Doesn’t anybody pedal anymore?

These so-called micro-mobility devices are everywhere. It’s a free for all, although not so much for the people who are hit by them.

 

One study in the American Journal of Public Health reports that between 2019 and 2022, e-bike and scooter related injuries increased by 293% and 88% respectively.

 

Are we having fun yet?

 

There is a pilot project underway in Quebec allowing motorized scooters, or motorized personal transport devices (MPTD), to share roads with cars, as long as the rider is over 14, wears a helmet and their device does not exceed speeds of 25 km/hr, or weigh more than 36 kilograms.

 

Cops don’t even bother enforcing basic stop signs, so don’t expect anyone to be checking that the stipulated conditions are being respected by scooter scamps.

 

I see young children on e-bikes whizzing past our home.

 

Apparently, e-bikes are allowed to go 50 km/hr on roads with that speed limit. I’m sure I’ve seen them go that speed on roads with lower speed limits.

 

Heck, I’ve been passed by e-bikes on some roads!

Yes, indeed, all of these MPTD’s are permitted in bike lanes, which has Velo Quebec suggesting we make wider bike paths.

 

Really, that’s your solution; just make the paths bigger and throw them all in there and see who comes out alive?

 

The solution is probably intense enforcement, but no government seems the least bit inclined to spend that money, or invest that time.

 

We’re going to be forced to license anything with a motor of any size because people are too obnoxious to travel carefully and respectfully.

 

And what about these confounded oversized, motorized wheelchairs with headlights, whip antennas, CD players and airbags that are darting through our grocery stores?

You old-fashioned people still doing the bipedal locomotion thing - keep your wits about you; MPTD’s of all shapes and sizes are hurtling in your direction.

 

Bubble wrap, anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Municipal - (wait for it) - Tax Bill

One evening last week when I came home from work, Susan announced that the municipal tax bill had arrived and, she added hastily, it was $1000 more than last year. 

Almost instantly, dejection and disillusionment began seeping into my mind. Dejection, because $1000 dollars is a freaking steep increase; disillusionment, because even though we have both spent our entire lives in this town, consider it home and grew up here as children, reliably paying our taxes for services every year, we are no longer permitted to receive bilingual explanations of our skyrocketing tax bill. 

 

Susan offered to show the bill to me but, glumly, I declined the offer, preferring to confront the dismal reality later. 

 

I sat on the couch wallowing in a fairly familiar soup of learned helplessness.

 

A few hours later, as we stood at the kitchen table, she pulled the infernal bill out of the envelope and after looking at it closely, she declared that she’d made a mistake; the bill was actually not $1000 more but, instead, it was the same amount as the year before. 

 

Uncomprehending, I stared at her. 

 

Wait, I don’t think the word “uncomprehending” covers it. Dumbfounded. Stunned. Incredulous. Flabbergasted.

 

Fine; as my brain cautiously processed her latest comment, I was also relieved, but she had reported a rather heaping discrepancy!

 

So very many questions; but why dwell?

Later that night, I reluctantly admitted to Susan that she’d inadvertently managed to make me feel quite lighthearted about the tax bill. 

 

That never happens.

 

She finds the episode amusing and, after several sessions with a gifted therapist, I sort of do, too.

 

However, my sweetheart, this is in no way an endorsement of any future plan on your part to employ such a deceptive psychological tactic. 

 

Do I recommend implementing this deliberate strategy for dealing with the twists and turns in your life?. Not really. 

 

Doesn’t it seem inherently unhealthy in many ways?

 

I believe it far wiser to invest in honesty.

 

And better glasses for you know who.