What fun to see sports I don’t normally get to see, like track cycling, judo, trampoline, wrestling and fencing.
I appreciate the traditional sports too, like javelin, hammer throw, shot put, pole vault and the running events. I admit there is lots of swimming, but the sport belongs at the Olympics in my view, along with diving, and I’ll even accept water polo.
I see synchro swimming as kinda like figure skating. For now, it stays.
Gymnastics belongs there, too.
I went around and around with my son the other day, discussing what events work as Olympic sports and what events are sadly mistaken.
I am self-appointed decider of what goes and what stays - and now that I’ve granted myself the authority to choose what sports remain Olympic ones, I have been trying to wield my power in a reasonable fashion.
Come into my office and have a seat. What have you got?
Race walking? Get lost.
3-on-3 basketball, beach volleyball, beach football, beach soccer, beach frisbee and beach anything - you’re gone.
3-on-3 hockey? No thank-you.
Break dancing? Security!
Synchro diving is another story. I really do not see the point and would not be surprised to see you try to introduce synchro weightlifting, or synchro tennis, or even three or four divers all trying to synchronize their performances. It’s arbitrary and pointless and is better suited to a circus. Get rid of it!
I like watching it, but I wouldn’t strenuously object to the elimination of ping pong in favor of, say, lacrosse, or cricket. We can watch world class ping pong on some other stage.
I’m torn on equestrian stuff. Why not barrel racing? Not sufficiently highfalutin?
Lay your thoughts on me
I do not need to see NHL’ers, NBA’ers, or NFL’ers again. I know what they can do. I don’t need to see them play flag football, or frozen tag, or hopscotch at the Olympics.
I don’t want to see the professional tennis, or soccer players, yet again.
Let’s see what each country’s amateur athletic talent looks like.
Who allowed golf? You’re fired.
I’ll give you four test sports every Olympic year, a sport that is showcased just to show the world it’s out there but not necessarily worthy of recurring Olympic status – like cliff diving, footbag, parachuting, ultimate frisbee or, what the heck, bowling. It’s only for one year and then, as far as the Olympics are concerned, it never happened.
I did not appreciate this year’s sewage triathlon and frankly, we have got to fine Paris for making top athletes sick. Take the Paris organizing committee to court and after they are forced to financially compensate the athletes who had to swim in their effluent, we provide members of the Paris Olympic organizing committee with water wings and make them go for a long swim in the Seine after a heavy rainfall. Inexcusable.
Don’t call it steeplechase and have humans splash through a puddle in a stadium. Lame. Have them run in the woods and actually negotiate obstacles in the countryside like the mountain bikers and horses at Versailles. Not possible? Get rid of it.
Gun stuff? It’s out.
Archery? Nope.
What did you say? Did you say pickle ball? You have got to be joking!
Whatever happened to squash, or racquetball?
While you’re at it, find some hosts with credibility and who don’t try to win a medal in Olympic stupidity, narcissism, or contrived coolness. I love the mute and channel buttons on my remote.
There are so many activities, pastimes, arts and sports out there, but not all of them belong at the Olympic games. A case can be made for all of them but, thankfully, a reasonable individual is making the hard choices.
If you don’t like it, have your people call my people.
