A Leisurely Commute

I had a book signing at the Indigo store downtown on Sunday. I thought taking the REM would be convenient, plus, on the way back, I could meet Susan after she finished her workday at the gym and we could ride it back together. 

Oddly, the REM worked like a charm on the way into the city.  

 

When the book signing was done, Susan let me know, no surprise, the REM to Deux Montagnes was completely shut down. They called it a “service slowdown” caused by a rolling stock problem, but there were no trains bound for A4. The proper word would have been shutdown.  

As I’ve said here before, the REM is a crapshoot. You’re as likely to have a problem as you are likely not to have one, and that’s as true for weekdays, weeknights and weekends. 

The REM is a disgrace to modern public transit systems on planets everywhere. 

 

And CDPQ is charging commuters another $25 a month for the inconvenience. 

 

Idiots. Robbers. 

 

The expected resumption time was 2 p.m. but when we arrived at the McGill REM station, we were told the expected resumption time had been moved back to 2:30 p.m. At Central Station at 2:30 p.m., we decided to chance getting on a train with “McGill” appearing as its destination on the lead car. It turns out it was going to A3 (Anse a l’Orme). We got off at Bois Franc and while waiting there to transfer, I spotted an ad on the REM screen suggesting people take the REM to attend festivals in downtown Montreal.  

 

I’m still laughing!  

 

REM Goes from Bad to Worse

During one breakdown, passengers were forced to walk through the Mount Royal tunnel. During another major breakdown, under-informed passengers along the entire line were stranded outright. Another incident had passengers going the wrong way on the REM, ending up in the train wash for half an hour. 

The service is grossly unreliable.

 

How is this ok? Constant breakdowns, shutdowns and slowdowns persist on the REM. 

 

Every day is a crapshoot.

Now they just canceled early morning weekend trains for the entire summer. Is bus service being put in place to help the people who work downtown early weekend mornings? No. 

 

The CDPQ’s detestable solution to all these disruptions? Raise monthly passes by $25. Service is a disgrace. How is this acceptable to government? 

 

Fix it, or give people their hard-earned money back. 

 

Commuters are paying money for service they’re not getting, which entitles them to compensation!

 

Shortly after the REM began operating on the South Shore, the provincial transport minister scolded REM partners for their shoddy service; where is government now?

 

The previous Deux Montagnes commuter train was unilaterally cannibalized, leaving commuters along that line as CDPQ and REM hostages, with no choice and no say.

 

Even the train intervals are longer than initially advertised.

 

I’ve repeatedly requested the REM to start weekday train service from Deux Montagnes at 5 a.m. to replace the bus that used to leave at that time. All those early morning commuters were abandoned and still struggle to find convenient solutions for their travel. The REM refuses.

 

Fear not, CDPQ will keep gouging passengers for more money, even though reliable train service in 2026 is, clearly, too much to ask.

 

I thought it would get better. 

I was dead wrong. 

Unbelievably, REM service has gone from bad to worse.

Been There Done That

I don't know if  you've heard, but humans actually landed on the surface of the moon for the first time in July 1969.

We walked on its surface, left a flag there, made some timely remarks and brought back rocks.

Cool, huh?

I remember watching the moonwalk at my grandparents' house when they moved their television outside.

I get the feeling that incredible achievement has been forgotten - or seriously glossed over.

Check the history books; it's all there.

Landing on the moon in 1969, now that was worth getting excited about! Flying past the moon in 2026? Ho hum.

BTW - didn't we already fly around the moon? in 1970, Apollo 13 astronauts looped around the moon, including that far side, in a circumlunar trajectory to slingshot home after their life support system was disabled. 

Yeah, the Artemis II astronauts left Earth's orbit and went further into space than any other humans before them, but all this pandemonium and astonishment for that? We walked on the moon for the first time 57 years ago. By now, I would have thought we had the technology to reach the moon in a day or two, not a whole ten days just to fly around it.

Get real.

The whole Artemis II thing seems seriously overhyped - or I'm just seriously over-jaded.

Wake me up when we get to Mars.

Olympics No Place for Pros

News Flash: NHL professionals are playing hockey for the love of money, not for the love of sport.  

 

Once upon a time, I believe players in the National Hockey League played for the love of the game, but those days are long gone. 

 

Back then, they played for a pittance.

 

Today’s attentive NHL fans know the score. 

 

I don`t doubt that when they began playing hockey, today’s players loved the game, but I don`t doubt that somewhere along the line, once they realized they were good enough to play professionally, money became the priority over love of the sport. 

 

The dream, after all, is to get rich playing a game. 

 

As time goes on, the game becomes BIG business. 

 

Pucks turn into bucks. 

 

Every NHL season, stories abound that clearly illustrate the importance of money to players, whether they`re holding out during training camp or turning their back on a loyal and loving fan base for another, more lucrative market. 

 

I know what they can do on the ice; there are enough highlights over an 82-game season. 

 

I don`t need to see the same players at the Olympics; I don`t want to see the same players at the Olympics. 

Give promising amateur players a chance to show what they can do on the grand stage of the Olympic games. 

 

Some of the people I`ve argued with about this, insist the Olympics are about the best athletes in the world; I would argue the Olympics are about the best athletes in the world who are playing purely for the love of sport and competition. 

 

The World Junior hockey tournament gives players a chance to make a name for themselves, and it gives fans a chance to discover outstanding athletes. 

 

You can see the best professional hockey players in the world competing for their countries at the Four Nations Cup, or the Canada Cup, or any one of the money-grubbing tournaments dreamed up by the sport`s so-called governing bodies. 

 

Pierre de Coubertin, father of the modern Olympic Games, made it clear enough when he fought to base the spirit of the games on athleticism and amateurism. 

 

Strictly speaking, professional hockey, soccer, tennis, basketball, football, baseball and any other millionaire athletes forfeited their Olympic opportunity when they started raking in their fortunes. 

 

Sport was first tainted by dollars, legally or illegally, back when dinosaurs roamed the planet. 

 

Sponsorships, inevitably, instigate discussions about the extent amateur athletes should be considered professionals and, heck, when it comes right down to it, there is no bigger business than the Olympic Games themselves. 

 

The Olympics have evolved into a money-grubbing endeavor which is precisely why NHL players will be part of the games. Big names are a big draw, and big draws mean big viewership, and big viewership means big bucks, and big bucks get divvied up and so on...and so on. 

 

I’m kinda fighting a losing battle here, aren’t I? 

 

Still I mutter, the Olympics are not the place for a bunch of entitled glory hogs. 

REM Nightmares Persist

If you enjoy nightmares and haven’t had one in a while, take the REM. 

I only take it two days a week. 

This week, I took it Tuesday and Wednesday. 

On Tuesday when I rode it, we were forced to change trains twice. Picture the scene; throngs of uncertain people slowly moving through stations as REM workers, some equipped with bullhorns, shouted instructions at us. The trains were absolutely packed. When I asked one of the REM employees what the issue was, he told me it was a broken track and added, “It’s a **** show”. I agreed and thanked him for his help. By the time I rode the REM home, service was smoother, but the train was still overcrowded. 

On Wednesday morning when I rode the REM, the train just sat at stations for long periods of time. No explanation. Finally, as we were parked at one station, we heard an announcement that there was a slowdown due to a technical problem. Vague. The ride was extremely slow and seriously overcrowded. At each stop, when we finally got to a station, people would push their way into the already overcrowded train car. The stations themselves were packed with people when we pulled in - and just as packed with people when the train left, all of them hoping the next train might have room for them to board. As we entered the tunnel, I stood up, getting ready to push my way out at Edouard Montpetit station. At about the same time, there was an announcement that the train would not be stopping at Edouard Montpetit station. I sat back down. Got to work 30 minutes late and disgusted with the crappy REM.

It’s an embarrassment to 2026, a time when technology and basic planning usually manage to make life better for people. 

I am generally not a fan of unregulated AI, but perhaps it should have been given more responsibility for REM design and planning. 

I heard the REM was not working again yesterday. 

All this for $200 a month. 

CDPQ Infra should be held accountable. 

I hope class action lawsuits are in the works. 

It’s not like the line can be dismantled and improved. This is it. This is as good as it gets for Montreal commuters. 

Overpriced. Overcrowded. Unreliable. Uncomfortable.

I miss the train, where you sat in a comfortable seat and could actually look out the windows instead of having your back to them. On the train, which the REM unilaterally cannibalized, you could read, work, or study, while getting to your destination on time. Now you sit, if you're lucky enough to get a seat during rush hour, like a sardine wedged into a can with a bunch of other sardines on hard plastic seats.

This is the big transportation solution we've been waiting for.

It's shameful.

Quite a few people have been taking a 4:55 a.m. bus from Deux Montagnes to get to work by 6 a.m. The bus has been providing service for five years. The REM and Allo Exo have just cancelled that bus and not replaced it with anything. Train service starts much later in the morning. Why can’t they leave that one bus in place for these early commuters?

It’s blatant disregard for the people who’ve been expecting competent public transit service. 

I can hardly wait for next week.

REM Abandons Early Risers

Every weekday for the last five years, people have been lining up to take the 4:55 a.m. bus from Deux Montagnes to Montreal. They have early jobs. As of next month, the 4:55 a.m. bus is being eliminated. It would be no problem if the REM replaced the bus with a train at the same time, but there will be no such train, or bus. It has decided those early morning workers will be given no such option. The early risers in Deux Montagnes, and at every other stop down the line, are abandoned. They are being denied REM service because they work too early. They’re being denied bus service because they work too early. How can you justify removing the only service that has been in place for five years without replacing it? The REM claims it cannot implement a 4:55 a.m. train from Deux Montagnes train because it needs the overnight hours to do maintenance. Why not hire more maintenance personnel to accomplish more maintenance in a shorter period? Why not implement a 4:55 a.m. train from Deux Montagnes and then no other train until regular weekday service begins? Better still, why not leave the one early bus in place? Many of these early commuters are distraught, as their worlds are being turned upside down. These people are ignored and abandoned because they work too early?

The photo, taken in the fall, shows people lined up for the 4:55 a.m. bus from Deux Montagnes. People are lined up at that time at each of the other 14 stops between Deux Montagnes and Montreal. So far, with its frequent breakdowns, disruptions and delays, the REM has proven an embarrassment to competent public transit services around the world Be that as it may, early workers are entitled to the same shoddy service you try to provide all commuters riding the REM to and from their jobs. The Caisse de depot et du placement du Quebec is raking in commuters’ money. The website for la Caisse de depot et placement du Quebec (lacaisse.com) says, “When you take the REM, you help pay for your retirement” – now it needs the disclaimer, “but if you are a commuter who starts work in Montreal at 6 a.m., you can forget about paying for your retirement by riding the REM.”

Welcome to the Machine

I was almost impressed.

The REM’s Deux Montagnes line has been running for two months.

 

There have been delays, breakdowns and interruptions in service on the line but, because I do not ride the REM every day, most of my commutes aboard the Deux Montagnes line had been quick and efficient.

 

It’s the commuters who ride the REM every day who’ve been most inconvenienced by its unreliability; that is, until this week, when the REM’s unreliability caught up with me.

 

I suppose it was just a matter of time.

 

The morning rush hour train I had planned to take, was late. Finally, after a long wait, a train pulled into the station and the backlog of waiting people crowded aboard. No sooner had we sat down than an announcement was made telling us to evacuate the train, which promptly backed out of the station to be replaced by another, inevitably, even more crowded train.

REM overcrowding

With every stop, more and more waiting people pushed onto the train. It was a case of public transit at its worst – expensive, unreliable, and overcrowded. For all I know, we may have surpassed the safety limit for number of passengers.

At 72 metres underground, Edouard Montpetit station is billed as the deepest in Canada

I have been on the REM during snowstorms, in freezing rain and in subzero conditions and it functioned without a hitch, and then, in the same conditions, the REM falls far short, so, for commuters, service is very much hit or miss.

 

The Reseau express metropolitaine (REM) must do better.

 

REM partners have already been scolded a couple of times by the provincial transport minister for spotty service on the South Shore section.

 

Hopefully, REM partners are working out the kinks with a view to making the service brilliantly dependable.

 

Apart from its unreliability, my biggest complaint would be rush hour overcrowding.

 

The potential for major disruption remains and, with so many motors, switches, relays and doors opening and closing at so many stations, and so many trains out on the line at the same time, accelerating, cruising and braking, a massive problem seems inevitable.

 

Yes, the Montreal metro faces those same challenges, but the REM had Montreal’s outdoor weather to factor into its design plans.

 

The laws of nature stipulate that as rolling stock and infrastructure age, a major disruption becomes more probable.

 

I sincerely hope a major disruption can be avoided and, with attentive and diligent maintenance and monitoring, perhaps the unlikely is possible.

 

REM riding is not cheap, although it’s nice to see that most parking is free.

 

My inner worrywart still finds it extremely disconcerting that a machine drives it, while humans ride it.

 

In the event of an emergency, signs in the train say talk to the “operator”, but there is no operator; at best, there may be a remote monitor of the machine. Emergencies are not likely to fare well without a human REM representative aboard.

Instructions for emergencies

I was slightly consoled when, one weekday afternoon, I spotted a REM employee on the train I was riding. She told me she was a monitor, and said she rides trains eight times a day.

 

I was riding it one morning earlier this month, when the crowded rush hour train stopped at a station, no doors opened, and I heard some faceless passenger mutter a mostly mystified “ok”. Then the train moved slightly forward, and the doors opened, but it took significantly longer for the doors to close, allowing subzero outdoor air to flow into the train. Once the doors closed, the train crept very slowly from Canora into the tunnel, with some passengers exchanging curious expressions. 

 

People try to appear unconcerned, trusting that the machine driving the train will figure it out, and safely do the correct thing.

 

AI may not be driving our cars yet, but it’s driving our train.

 

All hail the algorithm.

 

The best REM commuters can hope for in the event of an emergency is that an attentive and well-trained (pun unintended) human employee is looking through one of the camera bubbles positioned around the inside of the train.

 

I have visions of riders pressing the emergency button to speak to an “operator” only to hear the robotic response, “Welcome to the machine”.

Celebrating the Celebration of Love

We celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary last week.  

I lie.  

 

It was shamefully less festive than I have just indicated.  

 

We forgot our 31st wedding anniversary last week.  

 

I took a yogurt from the refrigerator in the morning and, as I opened it at work, I checked the expiration date and realized it expired that very day.

 

Unlike others I know, we tend to honor food expiration dates, so I thought I should warn Susan the yogurt expires today. 

 

I texted my wife with a photo of the yogurt label, telling her to look at the date. 

 

She responded by texting, “Big day tomorrow, 31 years married, 37 years together.” 

 

Momentarily confused, I suddenly realized the expiry date on the yogurt label was the date of our anniversary, the day we went on our first date and the day we got married.  

 

She thought the date on the label was tomorrow’s date. 

 

I texted back saying, “It’s today. Happy anniversary! How terrible that we both forgot!” 

I tend to overthink. 

And off I go. 

 

What does it mean?  

 

I don’t believe it’s a reason to panic, but I do think it is a reason to wonder or, at the very least, ponder. 

 

What does it mean to forget we have been married for 31 years? 

 

With her Oura and Apple Watch relentlessly churning out reams of personal information – statistics, analytics and biometrics – surely Susan has enough numbers to worry about. 

 

Drat, I can’t use that excuse. 

 

Let it go?  

 

Maketh not a mountain out of a molehill? 

 

Is it a sign that we are taking things for granted? Certainly; just the way we, unfortunately, take all the good in our lives for granted. That we take the good things for granted is a glaring flaw of human nature. 

 

Does it make us any less appreciative of our relationship? No.  

 

Every day together is a great day together. Am I right? 

 

Even when we remember anniversaries, our celebrations tend toward the underwhelming. 

 

Ah, phooey, we’re both still smiling and kissing. 

 

If we’re lucky, I suppose our anniversaries may unavoidably become more noteworthy. 

 

We have never put pressure on ourselves to overdo anniversaries.  

 

We acknowledge them (when we remember them) and are sometimes even amazed by them. 

 

It's a day like any other, and a day like any other is a reason to celebrate by letting it be a day like any other. 

 

Really, does it get any better than that? 

 

 

 

 

Welcome Frankendrivers

If you’ve been reading this blog, you are well aware that I cannot stop ranting about Quebec roads and the freaking stupid drivers who inhabit them. 

Start the timer, doctor. 

I have alleged in this blog before (May 27, 2021) that SAAQ examiners are getting filthy rich by accepting cash in exchange for allowing complete morons to pass their driving tests. 

 

How are these idiots getting permits? They pay extra. 

 

There is just no other possible explanation for the number of idiots there are on the roads. 

 

It appears there may be another factor partly contributing to the rampant road retardation. 

 

It turns out when people arrive here from other countries, the Quebec government gives them six months to adjust to the rules of our roads. 

 

These foreign drivers have six months before they are required to pass the Quebec driving test. Until then, do what you do out there on the road – or, do what you don’t do – or, don’t do what you don’t do – or do what you were doing wherever you were before here.

 

If, within these six months, they fail their Quebec driver’s test, no sweat, keep right on driving with your foreign license, but be sure to make an appointment to repeat your test 28 days later. 

 

What fun for Quebecers who know how to drive properly! 

Last year, around 140, 000 new Quebecers were trying to swap driving permits from their countries of origin for Quebec permits. That’s quite a pile of motorized unpredictability. 

 

SAAQ examiners apparently prepared a report, noting newly arrived foreign drivers tend to go through stop signs, cut other cars off, stop in the middle of the road, ignore crosswalks and fail to respect speed limits.  

 

Huh. 

 

I suddenly have a sinking feeling that giving them Quebec driving permits may be doing more harm than good. 

 

I think and, correct me if I’m wrong, the Quebec driving permit may be a license to keep driving stupidly, or worse.

 

Quebecers speed. Quebecers block passing lanes. Quebecers tailgate. Quebecers run stops. Quebecers ignore crosswalks. 

 

The mantra of the Quebec driver – you know it well…

Ignition. Accelerate. Drive stupid. Repeat. 

 

The bad news? I think we’re turning drivers from other countries into government-sanctioned Frankendrivers. 

 

The good news? If ever you need to make a quick buck driving a tuk tuk around downtown Jakarta in rush hour, you’re gonna fit right in. 

 

Break Out the Bubble Wrap

Here we go again.

It’s that time of year when motorized everythings and whatevers resume precariously zooming around in places where they shouldn’t.

 

Electric scooters on sidewalks.

Oversized, motorized wheelchairs with headlights on bike paths.

Motorized skateboards in pedestrian lanes.

Hoverboards and mono-wheels on streets.

E-bikes breaking the sound barrier on all of the above surfaces.

 

Doesn’t anybody pedal anymore?

These so-called micro-mobility devices are everywhere. It’s a free for all, although not so much for the people who are hit by them.

 

One study in the American Journal of Public Health reports that between 2019 and 2022, e-bike and scooter related injuries increased by 293% and 88% respectively.

 

Are we having fun yet?

 

There is a pilot project underway in Quebec allowing motorized scooters, or motorized personal transport devices (MPTD), to share roads with cars, as long as the rider is over 14, wears a helmet and their device does not exceed speeds of 25 km/hr, or weigh more than 36 kilograms.

 

Cops don’t even bother enforcing basic stop signs, so don’t expect anyone to be checking that the stipulated conditions are being respected by scooter scamps.

 

I see young children on e-bikes whizzing past our home.

 

Apparently, e-bikes are allowed to go 50 km/hr on roads with that speed limit. I’m sure I’ve seen them go that speed on roads with lower speed limits.

 

Heck, I’ve been passed by e-bikes on some roads!

Yes, indeed, all of these MPTD’s are permitted in bike lanes, which has Velo Quebec suggesting we make wider bike paths.

 

Really, that’s your solution; just make the paths bigger and throw them all in there and see who comes out alive?

 

The solution is probably intense enforcement, but no government seems the least bit inclined to spend that money, or invest that time.

 

We’re going to be forced to license anything with a motor of any size because people are too obnoxious to travel carefully and respectfully.

 

And what about these confounded oversized, motorized wheelchairs with headlights, whip antennas, CD players and airbags that are darting through our grocery stores?

You old-fashioned people still doing the bipedal locomotion thing - keep your wits about you; MPTD’s of all shapes and sizes are hurtling in your direction.

 

Bubble wrap, anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Municipal - (wait for it) - Tax Bill

One evening last week when I came home from work, Susan announced that the municipal tax bill had arrived and, she added hastily, it was $1000 more than last year. 

Almost instantly, dejection and disillusionment began seeping into my mind. Dejection, because $1000 dollars is a freaking steep increase; disillusionment, because even though we have both spent our entire lives in this town, consider it home and grew up here as children, reliably paying our taxes for services every year, we are no longer permitted to receive bilingual explanations of our skyrocketing tax bill. 

 

Susan offered to show the bill to me but, glumly, I declined the offer, preferring to confront the dismal reality later. 

 

I sat on the couch wallowing in a fairly familiar soup of learned helplessness.

 

A few hours later, as we stood at the kitchen table, she pulled the infernal bill out of the envelope and after looking at it closely, she declared that she’d made a mistake; the bill was actually not $1000 more but, instead, it was the same amount as the year before. 

 

Uncomprehending, I stared at her. 

 

Wait, I don’t think the word “uncomprehending” covers it. Dumbfounded. Stunned. Incredulous. Flabbergasted.

 

Fine; as my brain cautiously processed her latest comment, I was also relieved, but she had reported a rather heaping discrepancy!

 

So very many questions; but why dwell?

Later that night, I reluctantly admitted to Susan that she’d inadvertently managed to make me feel quite lighthearted about the tax bill. 

 

That never happens.

 

She finds the episode amusing and, after several sessions with a gifted therapist, I sort of do, too.

 

However, my sweetheart, this is in no way an endorsement of any future plan on your part to employ such a deceptive psychological tactic. 

 

Do I recommend implementing this deliberate strategy for dealing with the twists and turns in your life?. Not really. 

 

Doesn’t it seem inherently unhealthy in many ways?

 

I believe it far wiser to invest in honesty.

 

And better glasses for you know who.

 

 

Are REM Riders Ready for Reality?

Not all, but most commuters are quite pushy and inconsiderate. You need only commute to learn the ugly truth about commuters. 

So, when the doors of the REM train open during rush hour at a stop along the very busy Deux Montagnes line, the shrimpy train will fill quickly. Then, when that same train arrives at the next stop and opens its doors, more of those waiting, pushy commuters I mentioned will try to cram themselves in. Then, when that same train arrives at the next stop and opens its doors...and so on. 

 

Will rush hour REM trains on the Deux Montagnes line be precariously overcrowded? Bet on it. Can the rolling stock and infrastructure handle that – who knows? 

Oh, sure, there’s another train 5 minutes later but during rush hour, with pushy commuters packing platforms, it will quickly and inevitably become a question of - Push. Pack. Repeat. 

 

I get it. Greater train frequency should prevent a build-up of commuter volume on platforms but I’m one of the many people who has repeatedly lived rush hour on the Deux Montagnes line. 

 

No self-respecting commuter galoot will wait another 5 minutes for the next shrimpy train to arrive when there’s people to push around and a perfectly good opportunity to get to their destination 5 minutes faster. Plus, who’s to say the next train coming in 5 minutes won’t be even more crowded?  

 

It bothers me so much that these shrimpy trains are driverless. So many millions of things can go very wrong. 

 

Tell me, are these shrimpy trains designed to jump over each other? No. So, when one shrimpy train breaks down, all the other, what - 10 or 15 shrimpy trains travelling at the same time on the line behind the breakdown - will be stopped in their tracks. 

 

The South Shore line has had more than its share of hassles and headaches. Keep in mind the South Shore line has been having repeated breakdowns, power failures, glitches and delays with only four stops along 16 kilometres in service. 

 

The Deux Montagnes line, with a historically mammoth ridership, will have six stops over a greater distance, although I’m not sure how it can have only six stops when there are so many more stops along the same stretch of track.

 

I’m puzzled that the REM considers the Deux Montagnes line six-stops only, with the last stop being Sunnybrooke. The train continues to Central station, passing through Bois Franc, du Ruisseau and the rest of the stops that the REM refers to as its Main Line.  

 

Can commuters waiting at Montpellier, for example, get on the shrimpy train from Deux Montagnes or does it roll straight through? If they are able to climb aboard, the trains will be absolutely packed! If they cannot get on, can a commuter from Deux Montagnes get off?

 

Does the REM train from Deux Montagnes not stop at those stations? If a commuter from Deux Montagnes wants to get off at one of those stops, do they have to transfer to the Main Line at Bois-Franc?

 

Those stops – Bois-Franc, Du Ruisseau, Montpellier, Cote de Liesse, TMR, Canora, Edouard Montpetit and McGill - are all before Central Station.

 

Think a moment, the combined Deux Montagnes/Main Line will have even more stops than the train it replaced, with several thousand more people each day looking to ride the REM. That means more people will be driving to stations to board the shrimpy train, which brings me back to overloaded rolling stock and pushy, inconsiderate commuters.

 

All those cars driving to stations will mean parking issues and there’s not much free parking. REM developers want you to cough up to park. Don’t doubt parking will be insufficient and expensive.

 

This REM project, which unilaterally cannibalized the perfectly good infrastructure of the Deux Montagnes commuter train line, was supposed to be affordable. All parking ought to be free.  

 

In 2016, ridership on the Deux Montagnes train line was estimated at 31,000 commuters per day. One estimate I saw put yearly ridership along the line at 7.5 million commuters. That was almost a decade ago! I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that estimated daily ridership today has more than doubled.

 

More stops over a greater distance than the South Shore section, and with all the towns and cities along the Deux Montagnes line swelling in population since the pandemic, and more companies reneging on hybrid work arrangements, ridership will be grotesquely high. 

Curious, I rode the South Shore REM line shortly after it opened and, frankly, it worked well on that day. It was summer and not rush hour.

 

The utopic version would have REM trains working reliably, safely and affordably, while helping significantly reduce consistently horrid rush hour road traffic.

 

Cue hysterical laughter.

 

There was a REM employee aboard who explained to me how the trains don’t always line up precisely with the platform and, unless they line up precisely, doors will not open. 

 

De-icing gravel in the door tracks was one of the many things that caused breakdowns on the South Shore line during winter months. Seriously? If REM trains have issues with de-icing gravel there’s no way they’ll handle all the other extreme conditions Montreal winters bring! So much for a weather-proof design.

 

One spokesperson for CDPQ, which manages the REM, is quoted as saying building and operating driverless trains has presented a rare set of challenges complicated by Quebec’s widely changing temperatures. 

Duh. 

They make it sound like they were caught off guard by Montreal weather. Did they not take Montreal weather into account? Did you not design and build the REM with Montreal weather in mind? Have you been outside?

How stupid do their comments about unpredictable weather sound?

I hope I never have to - or any of my significant others ever has to - get off a broken down REM train mid-line on a day when freezing rain has made everything treacherous and be forced to walk along elevated tracks to some bus. 

These shrimpy REM trains should not be driverless. If anything goes wrong, commuters will be at the mercy of an un-invested squawk box.

 

The REM was supposed to be the modern, capable transit solution designed to take Greater Montreal commuters comfortably, safely and affordably into the future.

For the promise of that, people living near the tracks have been enduring years of hell as construction fumbled along.

This ill-conceived project was supposed to solve transit problems, not create them. 

Pick a card, any card; the potential issues include - Safety. Reliability. Affordability. Accessibility. 

Eventually, there are supposed to be 26 stations over 67 kilometres of often elevated tracks moving people safely all hours of the day through ice storms, snow storms, wind, rain, stifling heat and humidity, and minor earthquakes.

No drivers, mind you - just all those trusting people riding alone in an elevated mechanical can.

 

I shudder.

 

The REM's gonna hit the fan. 

 

Saved by the Sardine

A few days ago, we completed a two-week Healthy Ingestion Challenge.

It was initiated by my wife and counted five participants.

 

Each day for two weeks, we’ve been writing a list of foods we ingest and then my wife, who is a certified fitness instructor with some nutrition training, grades us on whether we’ve eaten healthy.

 

Knowing the challenge was imminent, I stocked up on foods I thought were healthy; orange juice, nuts, yogurt, V8 juice, bottled water and the like.

 

The first day I rated an appalling C-.

 

I was flabbergasted. I was going cold turkey on that first day, breaking a slew of bad habits and routines by choosing not to ingest my usual cheat foods.

 

Reality check. I was forced to understand by my wife and some other gung ho participants that I would not be graded on the basis of what I did not eat. 

 

I would not be granted hero status for choosing not to drink a small can of root beer, or choosing not to pop a few cookies.

 

It was only about what I ingested.

 

Double drat darn, I would have to get serious.

 

It turns out the yogurt had too much sugar, the V8 had too much sodium, and even the orange juice had too much sugar, even if it is completely natural.

It seems the highest marks in this challenge were being awarded to participants who packed in the protein and who ingested at least three liters of water a day!

 

Perhaps I misunderstood and had unwittingly signed up for a protein ingestion challenge.

 

If I have a slice of pizza, even straight cheese pizza, it must be accompanied by a cola. For me, it’s neural wiring.

 

Thinking a slice of cheese pizza accompanied by a bottle of water might earn me accolades, I put it on one of my lists.

 

Boy, was I wrong!

 

At some point, outside the context of this challenge, Susan had mentioned chocolate milk was a good choice. When I added it to my list one day, I was heralded for the protein it included but whacked for the sugar content.

 

I think sardines saved me from being completely disillusioned and failing miserably. I threw sardines, salmon and tuna in there whenever I could, which the judge deemed roundly positive.

 

I threw in cherry tomatoes, peppers and frozen vegetable mixes. Oh yeah and brown rice.

 

I managed a string of A’s on a few days.

 

My son won the challenge by ingesting heaps of protein and mind-boggling, bladder-busting volumes of water every single day.

 

He just did what he does every day.

 

Sigh.

 

He did get knocked on occasion for low vegetable intake.

 

It was fun; competing against each other and making my flimsy arguments before unsympathetic fellow participants.

 

To keep things in perspective, my sister-in-law was a first day disqualification.

 

Perhaps some of the discipline I mustered during the challenge will persist post-challenge.

 

Wouldn’t that be nice.