A Beauty and A Beast

She works out at a gym Saturday mornings. She works out every day of the week. Saturday mornings, just because she is working out and the guilt of not working out is too much to bear, I drag myself out of bed and punt myself down the stairs and into the car. I do not like going to the gym - hence the hashtag #cursetheworkout - which I always tag onto my workout-related tweets.

I worked out last Saturday morning because, as usual, my wife was already out there with her trainer doing a private workout. Her dedication to fitness really does inspire me to workout. In fact, she continues to inspire a lot of people to workout. It’s pretty cool. Last Sunday morning, she wanted to go to the gym so, muttering under my breath, I went back.

Photo by @northsideways

Put me down for two days in a row – yay.

If I happen to be on the treadmill at the gym and she gets on the treadmill beside me, it can be downright humiliating and scary, not necessarily in that order. While I’m casually jogging on my treadmill, she is blistering along at incredible speeds, her legs blurring as the gym staff eye their roaring and overworked machine, fire extinguishers in hand.

Half-joking, I have asked her not to run on the treadmill beside me. Last Sunday, I was on the treadmill. She approached the treadmill beside me and before stepping onto it, she looked at me and sweetly inquired, “Would it be ok if I use this treadmill as long as I don’t run fast?” Relieved, I indicated that would not be a problem.

A few moments later, as I shifted my attention away from my lazy jog, I looked over at her, to discover she was hopping sideways while running and then adding lunges to her run. Feeling that familiar inadequacy, I suddenly found myself wishing she was sprinting beside me instead. Better to be shown up by straightforward running as opposed to a flurry of fancy footwork! 

There’s no competition, she insists. She’s just a beast being beastly.

I can't argue with that.

One Very Important Truth

Make no mistake, I do not typically bound about merrily praising automotive industry executives. I have never had any reason to praise any within their breed. However, and much to my surprise, I have run into an exception. I am not so much praising the executive as much as I’m praising what he said to other automotive industry bigwigs.

His comments this week made me want to position my person in an arabesque on my rotatable office chair - as it rotates – while holding a note in my best soprano voice. In the end, I didn’t perch; I more crouched and, silently, held on tight.

Toyota Canada Newsroom

Larry Hutchinson spelled out what I have been saying all along, namely, enough with the self-driving contraptions - let's drive baby! The President and CEO of Toyota Canada says that in the race to achieve fully automated vehicles, the industry has forgotten one very important truth - people still like to drive. I am, unshakably, one of those people and, try as I might, I cannot suppress the symphony of sweetly serenading violins I hear in my head as I read chunks of his speech...

"The proposition that, given a choice, people would prefer to be idle occupants of a pod… that's not Toyota's vision… not even close. As other automakers are working on vehicles that drive themselves - turning us into passive passengers - we're incorporating advanced automated safety technologies in ways that enhance, rather than deaden, the driving experience."

Larry declares, “I don’t believe in pods”. Neither do I, Larry, and thank-you for your unflinching vision. In my June 3rd blog last year, titled "Make It Stop", I tried to make that very point.

Pampering passengers with pillows in self-propelled pods is pure piffle; I much prefer pressing pedals! And as long as I can work the pedals that matter in my life, whether they be bass drum and hi hat - or brake, clutch and gas - know this - I will be there at every and any opportunity to leave pod people in our dust.

Escalating the Situation

I hope Fabio forks out some serious coin. 

Paying a Supreme Court-ordered monetary award to Bela Kosoian will give him something useful to do, which will probably be a nice change from his usual agenda.

He was apparently having one of his usual days on the job back in 2009 when he had nothing better to do than hassle Bela Kosoian for failing to hold the handrail on an escalator in a Laval metro station.

No one friggin’ holds the handrail and they shouldn’t have to.

Photo: Bobby Button

She was arrested, detained, ticketed and, no doubt, subjected to the idiotic ramblings of two clearly underworked, power-tripping cops. It’s hard to believe those kind of police officers are out there with all the serious trouble either happening, or brewing, in our streets. And I don’t mean jaywalking.

I’m almost tempted to agree with Bela when she refused to identify herself to these morons. Identifying yourself at that point prolongs the stupidity and opens you up to more of their abuse. 

That the Supreme Court has agreed to hear Bela Kosoian’s case is awesome news!

Fabio and his fellow cop gave Bela a $320 ticket for obstructing the work of an inspector and a $100 ticket for disobeying a pictogram. She was acquitted of both infractions and proceeded to file a $45,000 lawsuit against the city of Laval, the Montreal Transit Corporation and officer Fabio Camacho. You go girl!

Two lower courts rejected her lawsuit because, evidently, they were presided over by judges who either always use handrails when they ride metro escalators, or never ride the metro. One of the judges ruled the officer had reasonable grounds to believe that an infraction had been committed. Well, if that’s the case, Fabio better hurry back to the metro station right away because I have reasonable grounds to believe the same infraction is being committed on a daily basis by tens of thousands of metro users, up and down Montreal metro lines.

If you’re going to assign police officers to patrol metro stations, they should have some basic discretion. Assigning dunces to the job does nothing for the image of police officers or for the advancement of effective police work. Hopefully, the highest court in the land will agree that, even on the prized escalator beat, pointless policing is a step in the wrong direction.

Lowell the Mole

Even before I had a child to read to, I enjoyed rhyming and the sound of words. I wrote poetry in high school and college. Once in my university career, I got an A++ and that was for a children’s story I wrote for my university children’s literature course. When she didn’t feel well, I would read “Winnie the Pooh” to the woman who became my wife. When we had a son, I loved reading Dr Seuss and Sandra Boynton to him. I always wished I could contribute fun children’s books. For years, I sent stories I’d written to publishers, only to have them rejected for a variety of reasons, some vague and some pointed. 

I decided to hire an illustrator so that I could see what one of my books would look like. I was fortunate to find the incredibly talented Stephanie Lambert. A friend printed a few copies for me and I took those around to publishing houses, only to field the same rejections. Last year, I decided to try to put out a book myself. I wrote “Lowell the Mole” in 2000 and it’s arriving in stores now. Early in 2019, I plan to publish a second story. For people who like reading aloud to their children and who would like their children to learn new words in a fun way – I believe my book does the trick. 

On Saturday September 22nd, I will be at Babar Books in Pointe-Claire for a reading/signing. I want to thank Babar Books for the exciting opportunity. I think children from ages 4 to 10 will have fun at the event, but everyone’s welcome! On Saturday September 29th, I will be at Indigo downtown as part of an event there. Come stop by if you’re so inclined. I hope to have other events coming up. If you’d like to keep in touch, follow my Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram accounts.

There are lots of inspirational, and true, quotes about “trying”. I'd like to think it's better to take a run at it than not to.

The Doer and the Gaper

Slowly, I’m learning it does not pay to doubt her. 

I use the home printer for several things. I use it to print scripts, contracts, stories and more. After changing the ink cartridge this week, I noticed it was printing one line and not the next. I went online in search of the source and extent of the problem. Apparently, one possible reason for the problem was clogged nozzles. Not knowing how to unclog a printer nozzle, I decided the only logical solution would be to purchase a new printer.

Clogged nozzle anyone?

I mentioned the issue to my wife, who suggested spraying it with air. Right. I scoffed. I wondered what part of the printer would we spray with air? I have no idea where printer nozzles are located! Not to worry, insisted Susan. I learned she is her office solver when it comes to untold printer hassles. She described pulling out drawers, adjusting dials, extracting crumpled paper, unplugging and plugging, air spraying and a host of other haphazard trial and error techniques she tries while others in her office stand and gape. 

I am definitely a gaper. When the office printer has issues, I much prefer waiting it out. Someone else will rectify the problem and my printing job will eventually emerge. 

I opened the front compartment of the home printer. Susan blasted away with the air spray. Quite skeptically, I closed the printer and printed a document. There it was. Perfect printing. Issue resolved. Why I bother to doubt her, I do not know. 

She steadfastly continues to get the job done, while I steadfastly continue to blow hot air.

Improve Your City Life

As cities go, Montreal is it for me; it doesn’t get any better! Unless…

What if I had a job that deepened my relationship with our great city?

Bazinga!

Not only do I learn something new about my awesome city with every episode of City Life I host, I also get to meet many of the passionate fellow Montrealers who contribute to its irrepressibly unique tapestry.

I’m appreciative and very excited to announce “City Life” is returning to MAtv for the fall season and I sincerely hope you’ll tune in to discover more about Montreal, right along with me!

With news reports and panel discussions featuring informed guests and enlightened commentators, our City Life team has tackled such vital Montreal stories as fentanyl, caleches, infrastructure, health care, public transit, cultural appropriation, indigenous land claims and urban development. If you live in Montreal, you know, as I do, those subjects are just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many things going on in this city that need and deserve the attention of Montrealers.

Look no further, City Life is on the case!

Our editorial team is in the process of considering stories and issues for our upcoming season. If you have an issue or story you would like us to consider, email citylife@matv.ca or hit us up on our Facebook page.

While hosting the show over the course of the last year, I had the pleasure of meeting many passionate Montrealers including dancer Dana Michel, anti-hate crusader Corey Fleisher, community leader Sid Stevens, Montreal Canadiens Chief Athletic Therapist Graham Rynbend, remarkable scientists Dr. Karim Zaghib and Dr. Donald Vinh, as well as talented musicians like Jordan Officer, Cecile Doo-Kingue, Marco Calliari, Stephane Tetreault, Jean-Pascal Hamelin and Paul Merkelo. We highlighted interesting community initiatives in Montreal that ranged from brewing co-ops to sustainable food projects, and from a quilt-sewing support group for former convicts, to the teaching of life skills to children using robotics.

This will be my third year hosting the show. I am grateful to be part of the amazing team working together to make it happen. Madman, or madcap, either way, Paul Gott returns as our industrious producer and occasional commentator, tying all the flailing and fraying loose ends together. I’m stoked to have Richard Fournier back as our consummate director and I always look forward to working with the MAtv control room team and studio crew. They are attentive, enthusiastic and superbly professional. Giordano Cescutti and Alexa Everett return as our intrepid reporting duo. Our Senior Content Manager, Patricia Perron, who I worked with on the former MAtv show “Montreal Billboard”, has been forthcoming, transparent and communicative in her approach, and it is much appreciated.

This season, we are taking our show a step further. Instead of doing one, multi-themed 60 minute show a week, we will be doing two single-themed 30 minutes shows. Our hope is to cover more topics with more intensity.

If you love Montreal and want to learn something new about our great city, be sure to tune in.  I’ll be promoting our stories and shows on our CityLife Facebook page, or you can follow the updates I post on my LinkedIn account, as well as my @Dagenator Twitter and Instagram accounts.

Our season premiere on MAtv (HD 609) is scheduled for September 24th and our show will be broadcast every Monday and Wednesday. I’ll see you then!

The Red Octagon

Just spotted a tweet by Montreal police who are looking for people to act as school crossing guards.

Good luck with that.

You get to clutch a red octagon in your hand as you step in front of crazed Montreal drivers who have no clue what the red octagon means! Most are under the impression that whatever it means, it is easily ignored.

They’re free to ignore its significance because its significance is not enforced. It’s infuriating.

Many jurisdictions are considering closing the roads around schools to cars, a measure sure to help keep crossing guards safe.

I want to live in the first Quebec municipality where stop signs are strictly enforced. Are you out there, municipality where stop signs are strictly enforced? Do you exist? What is your welcome tax like?

Crossing the street while walking to the dep, I, inevitably, end up screaming at motorists who keep rolling while I’m crossing. It’s to the point where I, as a pedestrian, obey the stop sign - and wait until a motorist makes eye contact before I cross, although the motorist coming in the opposite direction is rarely ready to participate in such civil behaviour.

Some police force, somewhere, must be strictly enforcing the red octagon. Are you out there, police force strictly enforcing red octagons?

Walking the dog, walking to the dep, or train, or driving in my car, the vast majority of motorists roll, at varying speeds, right through stop signs. I worry for my significant others and all pedestrians, young and old. 

As I understand it, the law states that the first vehicle to come to a complete stop is the first vehicle to leave the intersection. I do the complete stop, no one else does, so, inevitably, as I advance through the intersection and the other moron motorist just keeps moving forward, there is a spontaneous flourish of displayed digits and honking horns. I’m obeying the law and yet I’m subjected to the idiocy of a motorized ignoramus. 

In Quebec, obeying the red octagon is optional, but I, for one, would appreciate it if someone put a stop to it.