Sunshine, Rainbows and Roses

Six months ago today, I underwent bilateral hip replacement surgery. Physically, since then, life has been sunshine, rainbows and roses! 

It’s as if they had wheeled me into a time machine instead of an operating room because a few weeks later, I had gone back in time and was walking the dogs again, mowing the lawn again, playing ball hockey again, riding a bicycle again, ice skating again, and sitting at my drums again, able to get my feet on the bass drum and hi-hat pedals at the same time.

For the last few years, I had been living in pain and with diminishing mobility. The discomfort had been worsening and was going to continue worsening. It was all leading to a very dark place. Surgery would mean short-term pain but, ultimately, it would lead to sunshine, rainbows and roses. At some point, I realized surgery was a no-brainer.

 

I did not want to forget, or casually gloss over, how difficult movement was for me before June 29^th so I wrote things down. Before the surgery, I would lean against a wall, or lean on railings, to gingerly go up and down stairs; if I dropped something on the ground, I wanted to angrily punch myself in the face because it meant I would have to painfully bend down and pick it up. Putting pants or socks on, or taking pants or socks off, was painful; I had to build a tower of towels to slowly step in and out of the tub, and sitting down on the toilet and getting up off the toilet was terrible. 

 

I kind of hated myself for having taken these things for granted before.

The morning after surgery, the amazing Dr. Zukor stopped by to see how I was doing. I asked if I could take a photo and he agreed. A few hours later, physiotherapist Andrew, and trainee Courtney, got me out of bed and walking in the hallway. The hospital had suggested bringing non-slip footwear that was easy to step into and out of – as you can see, that meant my highfalutin LL Bean duck boots!

Noelly and Elyssia were the nurses caring for me the day after surgery. As you can see in the photo, they recorded my vitals - blood pressure, heart rate, temperature, oxygen and subjective pain rating - on a board in the hospital room.

Along with Dr. Zukor, I am grateful to so many hospital staff, Rona, Ulia, Angela, Mani, Shone, Keeba, Perline, Yvette, and Carlos, the orderly in recovery, to name a few.

 

Look at me! I can carry the tires from the shed to the car and carry the overstuffed box of Christmas ornaments up from the basement.

 

Fortunate doesn’t begin to cover it.

 

It’s all surreal; being able to do things I was not able to do a few weeks ago.

 

I’m dumbfounded that Dr. Zukor and his team were able to do this for me. The surgery and recovery are now imperceptible, a micro-blip on the continuum of my life; a micro-blip that changed everything. 

 

 

 

Many Lulled into REM Dream

I want it to be everything they claim it will be, but I’m no fool. 

They claim it will be reliable, efficient, affordable and safe. 

Doubtless, it will break down in bad weather, be grossly overpriced, and who knows whether it will be safe. 

Ladies and gentlemen of Greater Montreal, welcome to your new REM. 

By now you feel me. Let’s call it like it is; my glass is half empty when it comes to the REM. 

I don’t like the fact that all the tracks are raised. In some areas, perhaps there was no other choice, or perhaps they could have chosen other locations in which to build them. The Deux Montagnes corridor, for one, could have been kept on the ground, and some transit experts argue cannibalizing the existing Deux Montagnes line was pointless. 

The Ottawa light rail transit system had a derailment caused by improperly torqued bolts. A derailment on the REM, for whatever reason, would be a disaster, with tracks 30 or 60 feet in the air. 

Personally, I don’t like that there’s no driver. Most people I talk to seem fine with that, and some even yearn for driverless automobiles. In my utopia, I drive my car and a human drives my train. During routine disruptions and emergencies, commuters will be at the mercy of automated trains and any computer problems that occur. 

On the Ottawa light rail transit system, there have been various computer problems and door faults. A pushy commuter pried open the doors of an Ottawa train causing the system to go offline for an hour, blocking other trains along the line that could not be rerouted around the stalled train. 

When one REM train breaks down, the line will come to a standstill. 

Can you imagine when an REM train breaks down and passengers are asked to get off and walk along tracks that are 30 to 60 feet in the air? 

The Ottawa trains, supposedly built for Canadian winters, couldn’t handle Canadian winter. Parts broke off or froze in the intense cold. I hope you’re not under the impression the REM will be winter-proof, functioning reliably through Montreal winters. 

Fat chance. 

Freezing rain alone will be a huge issue. You heard it here. 

CDPQ Infra probably didn't skimp on concrete quality and, hopefully, won't skimp on the cost of upkeep.

Ottawa’s light rail transit system has been a series of headaches. Ottawa and the construction company are suing each other, the project was plagued with issues and opened a year behind schedule. 

Thousands and thousands of people all over Greater Montreal continue to endure years and years of unbearable noise and disruption to their lives as construction on this mega-project plods along. 

On top of that, there are people who did not choose to live beside train tracks who are now forced to live beside train tracks, enduring all the inherent disruption. 

Thanks to what seems to me to be hasty and shoddy urban planning, there are now huge concrete overpasses and unsightly raised tracks running through streets, malls, parking lots, front lawns, towns and neighborhoods all over Greater Montreal that were once quiet, if not quaint. 

Progress, they call it. 

The REM is less about progress and more about profit. CDPQ Infra, the contracting arm of Caisse de depot et placement du Quebec, makes it crystal clear Mission Number 1 is to make Quebecers’ savings grow. 

CDPQ Infra is not about making life better for commuters or better for the planet - they are in it for the money, to not only turn a profit, but to maximize the profit they turn. 

Rest assured, commuters will be charged a fortune to ride the REM and to park their cars at REM stations, and CDPQ Infra will surely justify it by saying supply chain issues during the pandemic made materials frightfully expensive. 

Cough up. 

What choice will we have? None. 

What choice did we have? None. The REM was imposed upon Montrealers. Virtually no consultation. Virtually no flexibility. 

We may not have paid the price to build this monster project, but if it turns out to be ill-advised, it will most certainly be Montreal commuters who end up paying the price.

Grateful's a Massive Understatement

A year ago, for a variety of reasons, I could not have dreamt of being where I am today.

A few weeks ago, I underwent bilateral hip replacement surgery and I am already moving comfortably in ways that, a few weeks ago, caused me pain.

 

The surgery happened June 29^th 2022. I went home the next day. Three weeks later, I stopped using a walker to move around the house. On Sunday, I stopped using a cane. I am slowly going up and down stairs on my own and doing exercises to regain muscle strength and my range of motion.

 

I’m walking slowly but, more importantly, without pain.

 

I am getting my life back. As I moved around the house and even the grocery store on Sunday, after setting aside the cane, the word that kept coming to my mind was “incredible”.

 

This morning, I went to see my amazing surgeon, Dr. David Zukor, for the first time since I last saw him the morning after surgery. It’s been six weeks. He was pleased with the new x-rays, incisions, and my progress so far. He has given me the green light to resume pretty much all of my prior activities.

 

I’ve got lots more physio to do!

In recovery a few hours after surgery, eating a protein bar.

Here’s just a bit of back story. I started physiotherapy in the summer of 2017 after noticing that I seemed to be losing strength in my legs. I no longer had my skating stride. I saw several physiotherapists over the following years, most of whom were curious to know what was going on inside my hips. I finally went for an x-ray in July 2020 and was diagnosed with moderate to severe osteoarthritis in both hips.

 

As a physician injected cortisone into my more painful hip in June 2021, he told me the shot typically lasts three months for some patients, six months for others, and as long as a year for a lucky few. The shot provided me with 13 days of relief.

 

Surgery was something I desperately wanted to avoid and yet, faced with diminishing mobility, intensifying pain and so much more life to live, surgery seemed inevitable and the only sensible option.

 

For me, the thought was frightening and the prospect, nothing short of dreadful.

 

My mindset changed completely after meeting Dr. David Zukor on November 1, 2021. I left the Jewish General Hospital that day with so much confidence in Dr. Zukor and the direct lateral procedure he performs, even though I had not expected to hear Dr. Zukor recommend replacing both hips at the same time.

The first three weeks at home, I worked the walker.

Dr. Zukor’s office put me in touch with a flight attendant who had undergone the same procedure. Her words provided insight and encouragement, boosting my conviction.

 

It’s not easy, but if you keep your eyes on the prize, which is sunshine and rainbows, it’s more than worth the journey, besides it’s all happy stuff - you’re headed in a happy direction and, given all the terrifying health issues people face, I am eternally grateful that Dr. Zukor and his team had this option to offer me. 

 

My wife and son were so incredibly attentive, patient and helpful, preparing meals, collecting materials from my downstairs office, and entertaining whims.

 

I am grateful to be loved so much.

 

 

Gratification - Instant vs Delayed

I don’t know about you, but I find it frustrating that I have to wait seven days before I can see another episode of my favorite weekly shows. Every time an episode ends, I always think how completely awesome it would be to go straight into another episode.

Once a new episode has been recorded by our PVR, my wife wants to watch it. I have tried to convince her not to watch a taped show right away. I have tried to convince her to wait another week so we can have two new episodes of a show to watch.

 

Years have gone by without any luck convincing her to hold off seven days.

 

Our PVR taped Episode 17 of Season 12 of “Blue Bloods”. Over the next seven days, I kept suggesting we watch other shows that we had taped, in hopes I could get another episode of “Blue Bloods” into the PVR. We didn’t have as much time to watch taped shows over the week and when we did have time, we had other shows we could watch.

Mission accomplished. Our PVR taped Episode 18 of Season 12 of “Blue Bloods” on Friday and on Saturday afternoon, we settled down to watch two new episodes of “Blue Bloods” back-to-back. 

Hot diggedy!

 

It was definitely worth the wait.

 

You can just imagine the both of us binge watching. It’s not pretty! We morph into shapeless potatoes with twitching eyes, sprinkled in popcorn bits - but smiling.

 

Press that play button. Forthwith.

Vroom Vroom

Look both ways!

 

The bike path is no longer a bike path.

It's a super-highway for unadulterated freaks and their flying machines!

 

There are motorized vehicles zooming along carelessly, oblivious to the rest of the world, and they range from scooters to wheelchairs, to four-wheel chairs and idiotically small cars.

 

None of them should be allowed on bike paths, I say.

 

Fix it. Give out a ticket every once in a while to these bike path maniacs. Our laws can't possibly be so shoddy as to legally permit these motorized vehicles on bike paths!

 

For cyclists of all ages, they pose a serious risk. All of them seem determined to travel at breakneck speed, sure to cause serious injury to an adult cyclist, child cyclist, or dog being walked, on or near the bike path.

 

I understand mobility issues, but you’re not the only person on this planet, you’re the only oblivious person on this planet. You should care about keeping other people safe.

 

I would insist there is a better solution, only now these motorized vehicles have begun invading stores.

Believe you me, they're giving drive-thru a whole new meaning.

 

Too many motorists ignore pedestrian crossings to think they’ll work in the dairy section.

 

Maybe we can put bells around the necks of these senior zoomers. Better still, confiscate their blooming buggies.

Soon, police federations are going to be pushing to have the Highway Code expanded to supermarkets. Then what? A police chase through fresh produce?

 

You just don’t know when you are going to come face-to-face with a speeding senior seated on a turbocharged wheelchair. What chance does a grocery cart have?

 

Police; legislators; fix it! Parameters, please. What's legal and what's not, and do the laws make sense and keep everyone safe?

It’s most unnerving to someone who’s always enjoyed going to the grocery store without having to contemplate the possibility of being run over in front of the frozen yogurt.

 

Maybe I’m overreacting.

 

Deep breath.

 

I’m sure I’ll feel better about the whole thing once they get traffic lights installed at the ends of the aisles.

 

Get Your Act Together

What the hell?

Francois will not be getting my vote, not that he ever had it to begin with.

 

The curfew is wrong. Requiring a third shot on your vaccination passport is wrong.

 

How can you justify removing the rights of people who are double vaccinated? They no longer have the right to be outside after 10 p.m. even though they did exactly as you recommended and got vaccinated? Twice.

 

Why did we listen to you idiots?

 

We got vaccinated twice and what do we have to show for it? House arrest. We are confined to our homes from 10 at night until 5 in the morning.

 

Infuriating.

Oh shutup!

The arbitrary stupidity continues and, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to be led by droning Legault and his inept cronies.

 

You cannot keep banging people on the head with your arbitrary, inconsistent, unscientific rules.

 

So, omicron is the latest worry but, wait, it’s not really a worry because it’s a run-of-the-mill cold, or flu. Well, if it’s a run-of-the-mill cold, or flu, leave people alone.

 

Pfizer says its omicron vaccine will be ready in March. Well then, why wouldn’t I wait for Pfizer’s omicron vaccine if that’s the latest issue, even though the symptoms that come with the omicron variant, we are repeatedly told, are not really an issue?

 

What the hell?

 

You had it? You haven’t had it? You had it but showed no symptoms? You had symptoms but tested negative? 

 

Self-isolate for 10 days, 7 days, 5 days, wait, you work in health care, no need to self-isolate, get back to work.

 

What the hell?

 

I know who I’d like to see self-isolate.

Get your act together and stop acting.