Swig and Swallow

Every morning, I open the cupboard and robotically take down the bottle of multivitamins. I quickly press down, twist the cap, pour out a pill, replace the cap and put the bottle back in the cupboard. I take a swig and swallow. It all happens in less than a minute with minimal thinking on my part. 

I might try thinking for a change.

There is a second bottle in the cupboard. It contains pills for our wonderful West Highland terrier, Spike. They are vision supplements. The bottle is about the same size, and the pills it contains are about the same size as the multivitamins.

Sweet Spike

I have taken down the wrong bottle, realized my mistake and replaced it. That led to me taking down the wrong bottle, opening it, realizing my mistake and replacing it. That led to me, pouring out the wrong pill, realizing my mistake, putting it back in the bottle and replacing it. That led to me putting the wrong pill in my mouth, realizing my mistake, throwing out the wet pill, closing the bottle and replacing it. The wrong outcome seems inevitable.

I might try thinking for a change.

Yesterday, I opened the cupboard, took out the bottle, put the pill in my mouth, and used orange juice to wash it down. As I tilted back the glass of orange juice, my son was reaching over me to get something in the cupboard. I stepped out of his way and when I looked back at the bottle on the counter it was our dog’s vision supplements. I gulped! My son exclaimed, feigning concern, “What did you do?”

Much to their amusement, I had made the mistake of keeping my family abreast of my close calls. In the same instant my son offered his exclamation, I realized he must have switched the bottles. Such dastardly mischief is not a help.

The human mind is quite delicate and it seems to me that mine, is more delicate than any other in our house. Rather than protect me from myself, my family seems intent on having me swallow the dog’s vision supplement. Have they forgotten sweet Spike could end up with a multivitamin in his belly? 

The odds are in Spike’s favor. By the time I take out the pill, whichever one it is, bend down, open his mouth and push it to the back of his throat, there is more time, hopefully, for me to notice incongruities. I fear I am more likely doomed to swallow the dog’s vision supplement than the dog is to swallow my multivitamin! It appears to be just a matter of time.

If my wife and son have their way, it will be tomorrow! I might try thinking for a change, but where would the fun be in that?