Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Thoroughly Odious Sound

I slowly lifted my head, unsure of what I was hearing. The sound that woke me Monday morning seemed to be blaring outside the house. It was the kind of sound that might have blasted across the unfortunate landscape of Chernobyl as the reactor melted all those years ago.

Either way, as I stared at my clock, I came to the conclusion the authorities were trying to warn us about something. There had been a large police operation in the neighborhood the day before and perhaps this sound warned the operation was continuing. Then again, it might be a tornado warning.

I decided it was time to take the necessary precautions. I sat up, pulled on shorts and a t-shirt, but, as I started to step away from the bed, the nasty sound suddenly and inexplicably, stopped. I went to the window and looked out. I saw nothing.

Concerned, I groggily stumbled down the hall and, entering my son’s room, I asked, “Hey, Tristan, did you hear that sound?” Upon hearing my voice, he seeemd to suddenly wake and then, reaching for his iPhone, he looked at the time.

In an instant, it all became clear. The thoroughly odious sound that woke me must have been his alarm clock, which he turned off, so he could drift-off.

Realizing I had been awakened and duped by his alarm, I spun on my heel and grumpily muttered, “Time to get up.” Slightly frazzled, I wondered what inhuman corporate clown would add such a hideous noise to the list of sound effects available on its smart phone?

Stupid phone.

The worst part is that it didn’t even wake him up! He was merrily going back to sleep!

Later that morning, I told him what I thought was happening. Of course, he shared my traumatic experience with my wife and together, they apparently had a great laugh.

The sound I thought was coming from the window was insidiously travelling down the hall. We’ve been leaving our bedroom door open to let the air conditioning flow in. As a result, the same infernal sound woke me yesterday and today.

I asked him what name the iPhone assigns that particular sound. He said it was simply called, “Alarm”. I could offer a much more colorful label.

As I drove him to school this morning, I admitted the sound woke me up again today, which prompted an almost gracious offer on his part, to change the sound.

To what; an air raid siren? Uh, no thanks.

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