The consensus around the table at
the board meeting may be that this commercial gives your product the power to
hook me, but it would be wrong. I rebel. I resist and I discern. I sit on the
couch with my twitching finger poised, ready to press the fast-forward button
on the television remote the very instant a stupid commercial appears before my
eyes.
Sadly, I recognize the stupid ones
and, given the choice, I will not be sitting through them, thanks. My PVR
spares me the aggravation. By taping programs and sports games, I can fast
forward through inane commercials and the pompous bloviation of certain
so-called hosts, analysts and commentators. I would say they know who they are, but
they wallow in self-absorption-induced cluelessness. I very much want to type
out a long list of offending names but whenever the impulse strikes, I
diligently and wisely wrestle my mischief-minded fingers away from the
keyboard.
More now than before, I find myself
insulted and annoyed by most television content. There are too many morons,
moronic programs and too many mindless commercials. I appreciate creativity,
intelligence, sincerity and insight, and while those qualities do exist on
television, examples of them are sorrowfully few and far between. Judging by
what passes for broadcast-worthy television content these days, I sometimes
have the impression discerning viewers are just as few and far between.
How do you spell relief? M-U-T-E.
If I can’t fast forward through the television stupidity, I will use the mute
button to silence it, or press recall to dismiss it momentarily as I visit a
mostly irritation-free ambience channel.
 |
| Options galore |
The mistake may be my wife’s, for
when she tosses the remote over to me claiming she cannot find anything good to
watch, I eagerly rise to the challenge, maniacally jumping from one channel to
another, in search of tolerable programming. My surfing, though sprinkled with
generous helpings of mute and recall, is not designed to irritate my significant
others, but to satisfy them with choices that appeal to the common good. There
are times they may comment on my liberties with mute and recall, but there are
other times when I believe they appreciate it.
By taping television programming, I
can, relief of reliefs, rip through those 12 minute pharmaceutical commercials
that urge you to try their new chemical concoction in spite of a spate of
hellacious side-effects. While I will not object to watching kids try to spell
food ingredients, rest assured, I will not be going to your restaurant because
those people are there and, trust me, I’m heroically resisting the temptation
to insert an adjective to describe those people.
I’m keeping my fingers tightly
crossed in fervent hope that my television is connected to the “people meters”
recording viewing audience habits and preferences, because, in my own special
way, I’m sending a message. I don’t imagine the meters register my preferences
when I press mute, or watch taped programs, but, with any luck, they’re keeping
close tabs on the number of times and exact moments I’m pressing recall.
I would do well to go on record as
saying I am always willing to relinquish the remote. When the programming of
choice does not suit me, I happily leave the viewing area in search of more
lofty pursuits or, more likely, a television in another room.
Tyrannical? If you say so. I say
tyrannical like a fox.
